Sometimes I wonder...
I think...
And more thinking...
And I came to the conclusion (as for now, probably)
Attitude matters.
And our attitude reflects more of our alter egos, than of our principles (or upbringing for that matter).
Don't you think?
And our alter egos, well.
Probably just reflect who we really are.
Maybe not. I don't know.
I've just come to realized; my favourite word in any of the Malaysian language is...
"laah".
I mean, it's so Malaysian and so universal, who doesn't use it?
We need to be the change we want to see happen.
ps: Nasi lemak rendang kerang is definitely Malaysian!
Akhirnya, sedikit break daripada hectic-life yang menuntut diri ini bertapa menghadap buku sepanjang masa. Bolehlah mula catch up on things-kinda-neglected before. Huhu
Harus semuanya disebabkan ketidak-upayaan diri untuk mengurus masa dengan baik. Astaghfirullah.
On the topic of time management, selama ini selalu orang berpesan pada saya; get your priorities right. Prioritise.
Dan banyak kali juga kandas dalam percubaan.
Saya tak tahu di mana silapnya.
Adakah saya tidak tahu apa priority saya?
Atau saya memang tak reti nak prioritise?
Hah!
On another topic, kadang-kadang kita rasa kita dah habis being pushed to the limit.
Ahh, tak mampu lagi! Tolong ingatkan aku....Err. Ehem.
Kadang saya rasa macam dahh cukup! Dah sampai edge of Cliff of Moher dah ni. Cukuplah. Tolonglah.
Tapi semua asakan terus bertalu-talu menolak.
Bukan sekadar carpet bombing, drones turut dihantar sekali dengan missile.
Tunggu masa nak jatuh je daripada Cliff.
Tutup mata, pasrah je. Tapi jatuh yang ditunggu tu tak juga kunjung tiba.
Eh, pelik.
Semalam kami hadiri sebuah talk yang pada saya amaaat serta sangaaatttlah bermakna, dan harapnya akan membawa pada amal.
Talk khas untuk kami, inshaAllah para doctor-to-be.
Dan saya rasa terjawablah persoalan-persoalan saya yang kusut menyerabuti neuron otak saya. Ohoi.
Kata Dr, kita kena prioritise.
Err. Prioritise lagi.
Tapi ada tambahan nya. Prioritise... and sacrifice.
Eh?
Bermakna, prioritise apa yang penting, dan sacrifice apa yang tidak penting.
Oh?
... (mata terkebil-kebil)
... (mata terkebil-kebil)
... (mata terkebil-kebil)
Patutlah!
Pada masa lapang pula, saya gunakan masa untuk bersembang-sembang sedikit bersama Dr, dan juga isteri beliau yang turut menemani beliau ke sini (ladies power! wuhuu!)
Pesan mereka, you must be willing to go extra miles.
There is always a way out.
Kalau kita sungguh-sungguh ikhlas doa pada Tuhan, yakin dengan benar-benar yakin yang Allah akan bantu kita, inshaAllah help WILL arrive.
Tak kiralah setakat mana kita rasa kita tak mampu, kita masih mampu sebenarnya.
Kita di sini, hidup kita bukan hanya untuk diri kita. Berilah erti pada hidup dengan memberi.
All the emotions, hormones flowing through, salurkanlah.
Ke mana?
Devotion to God, and charity.
Shift your paradigm. And inspire others. There's only so much you can do as long as you're willing to.
Whatever happens, never let people touch you on the inside.
ps: Saya rasa saya baru faham. Mungkin. Atau mungkin salah. Atau mungkin saya salah faham. Entahlah. Islam & da'wah is not about dictating someone's life or letting someone dictate your life. Sure Islam has law and lifestyle. But you just have to be creative.
ps2: Moga Allah terima amal saya, anda, kita dan mereka. Doa, dan teruslah berdoa.
ps3: Seriously, it's like the last day of March, but the snow outside, it's like the beginning of January. Welcome back Winter. Stay as long as you wish. You're just following God's order. Jangan berhenti hanya kerana manusia bising-bising. Biasalah mulut manusia. Don't let people touch you on the inside, and don't let people's hope dictate your life. Wuhuu! Tahniah encik Snow. (^_^)v
Depression is not very common among cancer patients. It's not death that gets to them. It's dying alone that gets to them.
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Semalam saya ke lecture Pharmacology. Bermulalah tajuk-tajuk berkaitan Psychopharmacology.
One very interesting lecture. Tetapi ada satu yang benar-benar buat saya terfikir.
Kata cikgu, pernah suatu ketika di sebuah negara Syarikat yang berada di benua Amerika Utara, pihak atasan mula membincangkan untuk mencampurkan sejenis ubat bernama Fluoxetine ke dalam adunan roti, agar rakyat mendapat sedikit dos ubat tersebut.
But of course, tidak dijalankan kerana side effect ubat tersebut agak banyak.
Mari kita lihat apa itu Fluoxetine.
Flouxetine adalah sejenis ubat kelas SSRI; Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor.
Dan SSRI pula adalah sejenis antidepressant.
Dan kegunaannya adalah untuk merawat kemurungan, OCD, bulimia, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, alcohol dependence.
SSRI ni saya kira memang agak common lah juga di kalangan masyarakat barat ni.
Ada kajian yang menunjukkan sekurang-kurangnya 20% penduduk mengambil sekurang-kurangnya satu jenis antidepressant.
There's of course nothing wrong with getting help, including pharmacologically.
In fact it's better to get help than to get bottled up.
Cuma persoalannya, how depressed do you have to be untuk terpaksa meletakkan SSRI ke dalam makanan harian?
Pernah juga seorang cikgu Paediatrics berkata, apabila menceritakan tentang side effect SSRI ke atas fetal development.
"If you are sad, talk to someone. Talk to your friends, call your family. By all means don't take SSRI", katanya.
Di Malaysia saya kira peratusan penduduk yang mengambil antidepressant agak rendah.
Mungkin kerana kadar tahu yang agak rendah.
Atau mungkin kerana sekadar berjumpa dengan psychotherapist sudah dipandang pelik, apatah lagi untuk berjumpa psychiatrist dan mengambil ubat kemurungan. Persepsi yang kurang baik memang sangat discouraging.
Atau mungkin kerana rakyat Malaysia ni sentiasa bahagia, ye lah, makanan sedap-sedap belaka.
Atau mungkin kerana support system di Malaysia masih lagi kuat. No one has to face their problems alone.
Mungkin.
Harapnya rakyat Malaysia tak perlu ambil antidepressant kerana tak depress disebabkan adanya orang-orang keliling yang banyak membantu.
Harapnyalah.
And of course, nothing works better than to just wake up in the middle of the night, ambil wudhu, hampar sejadah, sujud dan berdoa serta memohon pada Pemilik hati-hati kita ini.
Allahualam
Dan janganlah kamu merasa lemah, dan janganlah kamu berdukacita (terhadap apa yang akan menimpa kamu), padahal kamulah orang-orang yang tertinggi darjatnya jika kamu orang-orang yang (sungguh-sungguh) beriman.
[Ali-Imran (3):139]
ps: Of course, I've never walked in anyone else's shoes. Ini cuma luahan pemikiran saya, serta peringatan buat diri sendiri.
ps2: Mari intensif kan lagi doa-doa kita.
ps3: Dan tidak, posting tentang ini tidak bermakna saya sedang depress. So please stop asking v(.")
One.
Routine (r-tn) Having no special quality; ordinary
If I have to, or could, describe my life lately in one single word, that would be the perfect word.
Nope, no need for a dictionary, no need for a thesaurus.
Explains it perfectly. Oh well. You can't be everything in life.
Two.
Do you know how much 1% represent?
I mean, like with 3%, sure, there's a big chance you change the world.
But with 1? Oh well. You can't have everything in life.
Three.
A fixie bike. I'm sure most of us know what it is.
You know, the oh-so-famous bike everywhere. The one that usually doesn't have any brakes.
Imagine going mountain biking on that (I know it's not very possible, which is why I said imagine).
Cycling up, up, up and up. The air gets cooler and less dense, lower pressure, harder to breathe.
Every leg muscles start to build up lactic acid and start to ache.
Your body is telling you to give up, but your mind is fighting for the top.
Citing to yourself:
...If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'...
And suddenly, you're going down. Down, down and down.
You could feel the wind rushing past your face.
And you could feel the excitement and adrenaline pumping through.
And that's when you realize, you are actually going at a speed of 100 km/h.
Down a mountain. On a bike.
Without a brake.
What's about to happen? You have no idea.
What's waiting for you at the bottom. You have no idea.
Oh well. You can't know everything in life.
(and might as well enjoy the ride down while you're at it. Or should you?)
Ending.
Point is, let's just be thankful with what we have.
Sure, go search for meanings, go search for what fulfils you.
Go climb up the trees if it makes you closer to the star you've been aiming for, dreaming for.
By all means, do.
But at times, just stop for a while, and remember to be thankful.
Just say it, Alhamdulillah.
Though it's not yet Ramadhan. Well, you get what I mean. Right?
